Ever heard of a guy named Benny Hinn? Me neither. But lots of other people have! Seems he is an evangelical faith-healer, you know, the kind that people who are crippled and diseased go to see and he puts his hands on them and uses the power of faith to "heal" them. Well, the wise men who run the Philadelphia Civic Center decided that the opening day of the Buyer's Market of American Crafts would be a good time for pastor Hinn to have one of his faith-healing revival meetings in the adjacent building to us. I have never in my life witnessed or experienced anything like what I did on Thursday (set up day) and Friday (opening day) at this year's show. On thursday, I noticed that getting around the Civic Center during set up to park after unloading was a pretty dicey situation. The streets and sidewalks were filled with people, mostly middle-aged to elderly black people. They were all crowding around the entrance to the auditorium like kids at a candy store window and I wondered what the ruckus was all about. I looked at the marquee and it said "Pastor Benny Hinn presents YOUR day of miracles!". The date said Feb. 18 and I remember being relieved that it was only for that day and wouldn't interfere with the show. I should have read the marquee more carefully.
I completed my set up and returned to my motel room which was only about ten miles away, confident that Friday would go smoothly and nothing would go wrong. I woke up the next morning and got an early start. I wanted to do some last minute cleaning and primping before the show opened so I left at 8:30 AM figuring the 10 mile drive in morning traffic would take about half an hour. About a mile and a half from the Civic Center out on 291 as it approached I-76, I ran into bumper to bumper traffic moving at a crawl. "Drat", I said to myself, "must be a wreck. Good thing I got an early start." Eventually I made it onto I-76 but things weren't much better. "Must be a hell of a wreck" I said to myself. "Good thing I get off this road in half a mile at the Civic Center exit". But when I got up to the civic center exit I saw that it was the exit that was holding traffic up, and beyond the exit traffic on I-76 was moving relatively freely. "Drat", I said to myself. "Just my luck. The wreck is where I'm going." I looked at my watch...9:00. No problem, still plenty of time.
It seemed to take forever to make the hundred yards from the exit to the underpass and by then I knew something was wrong. At the underpass, traffic from three directions converged and they all seemed to be going toward the Civic Center. I noticed that there were three large buses and I blamed them for the slow progress I was making reasoning that they could not be as aggressive in congested traffic as a smaller vehicle. Just my luck to be behind them. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally made it under the first overpass and creened my neck to see what lay ahead. My heart sank. As far as I could see, all the way up to the second overpass and the traffic light beyond the traffic was totally gridlocked! We weren't moving at all! I looked at my watch. 9:30! "My god I'm going to be late"!
I looked around at the faces of the people who were trapped with me. They all looked the same, like caged animals. I imagined I looked that way too so the next time an opportunity came to allow someone to merge in ahead of me, I left space so they could. Immediately, five cars crammed into the space in front of me while the drivers behind me honked their horns furiously. I fought for every inch after that. I finally made it under the second overpass and had my first look at THE LIGHT!
It was a normal four-way intersection regulated by an electronically timed light that obviously cared nothing for the actuality of the situation. Traffic in all four directions was absolutely frantic and no one cared about anything except getting through the intersection at any cost. You could not advance until there was room for you on the other side of the intersection and the light was just out of sync enough with the next light up ahead a couple of blocks so that when it was green there was no place to go and it was always red when the traffic across the intersection finally did move. And then people turning from the side street would jump in and take up all the space so consequently we could never move at all. It was a desperate situation. People thought nothing of just pulling out and blocking the intersection which made the situation even worse. I swore that when it came my turn to go there would be no way I would pull out and block the intersection. I sat at that light and counted twenty five light changes before I finally came to the intersection. The light turned red and we just sat. The light two blocks up ahead changed and the traffic began to move and immediately cars from the cross street pulled in and filled up what space there was. When the light turned green, I pulled out and blocked the intersection. It was the only way to get across!
Between the first and second light four lanes converged into three and no one was feeling very polite. Progress was measured in one and two foot increments! I could see the roof of the Civic Center less that a quarter mile away! People who were lucky enough to not be driving alone were getting out of their vehicles in the bitter cold and walking. Not a good sign and no such option for me. I looked at my watch and ground my teeth... 10:00! How much longer?
Beyond the second light the road went up over this little overpass and beyond that it was a nightmare! From the opposite direction another completely gridlocked three lane road converged with our completely gridlocked three lane road and all six lanes, all six lanes, had to merge into the one lane that turned right onto Civic Center Blvd.!!
I fought, I threatened, I honked like a New York Cab driver. I tried every trick in the book to get people to let me merge but only forcing my way in worked. I remember this one very attractive lady in a white BMW that I thought would let me in for sure. I gave her my most charming smile and waved my hand to ask if I could merge in front of her. Before my eyes she was transformed into a hideous vampire with fangs spitting venom and chewing on the steering wheel. I took that to mean "NO!" I shuddered and let her pass, and just barged in behind her.
In retrospect this was all pretty comical but at the time it seemed like life and death! It took me nearly 45 minutes to make it the last 200 yards to the Civic Center parking lot! When I finally got in I asked the smiling parking attendant two questions... what the hell was going on and was the lot full. He said there was some sort of religious revival and yeah, go ahead, there's still a few spots up there, which was when I finally realized that this was all Benny Hinn's fault. And the lot attendant was wrong. The lot was full.
I parked illegally blocking someone in. I had left all remnants of courtesy and good will to my fellow men out on I-76 somewhere and just did not care. I ran all the way to the entrance (about 200 yards) in the freezing cold and rode down the escalator wheezing and gasping and looking for somebody to choke! Both Benny Hinn and Wendy Rosen owe their lives to their prudent decisions to stay away from my booth that morning! It took me an hour before I could be civil to people so my show did not really begin until nearly noon.
That's when Herman Bahn showed up. Herman Bahn is one of the richest and most influential men in Philadelphia and he has been one of my most important accounts for the last three years. He uses my goblets at large banquet-style dinners he and his wife put on for charities and various other causes. He had borrowed a pair of seahorse goblets for a dinner on the condition that he return them to me at the show because I needed them as samples. I had thought that Herman would send his personal secretary to deliver them to me but, for some reason, he decided to bring them to me himself. He sat in his stretch-limo in that traffic jam for two and a half hours just to bring me those stupid goblets!! When he handed them to me I almost said "oh, you shouldn't have bothered. I didn't need them that bad..." but I caught myself just in time. I still have teethmarks in my lower lip...
Well, the show turned out fine. Pastor Hinn did not return for the last three days of the show so his effect was really more of a nuisance than anything else. One thing is for sure. Either there are a lot of gullible people in the world or this guy Hinn is really good! Personally, I choose not to speculate out loud. You never know about these things. If I ever have to go through an experience like that again, I may need pastor Hinn's services myself!